Tehillim /Psalms 61:1-4
61 Hear my cry, O Elohim,
Listen to my prayer.
2From the end of the earth I call unto
When my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher
3For You have been my refuge,
A strong tower in the face of the
4Let me dwell in Your Tent forever,
Let me take refuge in the shelter of
Your wings. Selah.
From Anxious Nights to Glorious Mornings
In the past, I have dealt with severe anxiety.
When I was a preteen, I used to think about if the worst happened within every situation, every know and then. the scarier part is, I used to wonder what if those things came true one day. Slowly, I began to become depressed due to my social life. Not that I did not have friends, but the basis we were friends was unhealthy. I accepted negative things from people that I should not have. I was a pushover by no means, but was, and still am, a young man with a kind heart.
In my sophomore year of high I spent vast amounts of my time venturing into rock music. The genres within that umbrella I listen to most was grunge, and alternative. I had received a message from a minister through a dvd titled, “The Truth about Hip Hop,” and I went cold turkey for some time, and had been looking for a another genre to look into. The energy rock exuded, and the difference in lyrical content intrigued my eager mind, and latched onto my will to grow musically. During that time, I was little aware of the emotional toll the music left on my emotional scape. I spent time listening to aggressive chords, and drums after having an argument with someone, or while skateboarding, or when tuning out surrounding sounds around. Little did I know this music was harboring emotions that would only mold my character in an emotionally unsteady personality. Despite me being still respectful to my elders, peers, and to strangers, a quiet rage lay in the bellows of my subconscious that I found an unorthodox in pleasure in embracing. My anger was becoming my joy, and I let it.
Branches of anxiety grew from the trunk of my seemingly sturdy trunk of faith-based character, which was now being fueled by adrenaline fueled- flesh driven rock, instead of the words, and guiding of Yahuah’s word.
On a Sunday afternoon, my Aunt Stephanie prayed for me, with my father, and Aunt Beverly at each of my sides. She prayed out generational curses, confusion that tormented mind, and a host of other problems plaguing my being. She spoke that I was going to be a prophet, and that I must write what my heavenly Father speaks to me.
I thank Yahuah for opening my eyes to beautiful wonders through me praying, and Him leading me down the path he wants me to walk. I will share my journey with my brothers, and sisters so that you can see you are not alone in your faith walk as well.
There are times in life where one has to swallow their pride, and learn from an unsettling experience. Last Tuesday, during choir practice, I had my first rehearsal with my church’s new music minister. I was playing drums while he was directing vocally, and on keyboard. He made a series of criticizing comments during the choir’s singing. This did not catch the attention of the choir, but the veteran director did hear. He spoke with me the following night about the comments.
I am thankful for, and confident in my talents. God has blessed me immensely. I play numerous genres of music. As a believer in the word, I feel inherently pressured to spend a bulk of my time practicing on gospel music. Even more recently, due to the previously noted situation, I have a new inspiration; the people of this earth from whom I have only heard negative comments.
I am not fueled by hatred, nor doubters, but it is sweet for them to see that you can far surpass any of their expectations.
I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.
This is a word Yahuah wants us to hold true to, and believe that even the greatest of our problems can be solved through bold faith, and persistent praying. I am thankful for His love, and influence in my life.
Gather around Brothers, and Sisters…Listen Closely
We are about to change the world.